Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Deep Thoughts by SBC...

Just a few random things/thoughts to share...

1.  Why do couples put up joint myspace pages?  Really?  Are you THAT connected at the hip that you must create a Myspace page together like you're a band or something?  Unless you've got original musical recordings on your page, stop it!  It's MYspace and last time I checked MY was singular.  OH!  Maybe I should start OurSpace for all of the couples in the world that have lost touch with their singular identity.  Actually I'm sure someone's already done that... I'm too lazy to look, so I probably sound stoopid right now, but so be it.  It's not the first time (nor will it be the last).  

2. I have a weird dog.  Shocking, I know.  Princess Stupefia is supposedly a Yorkiepoo... She looked like a Yorkie when she was born... Black and brown with a silver spot on her head.  The silver spot on her head, however, quickly grew and by the time she was a year old, all of her black/brown hair was gone bye-bye and she's now all silver.  They (the shelter and my vet) also said she'd be between 6 and 8 lbs tops.  Three years later she's weighing in at 15 lbs.  She just kept getting taller and taller.  She's not a big chub or anything either... She's just not a teeny tiny pup like "they" said she'd be.  And now she's changing color again!  Her hair is starting to turn goldish brown up by her head... guess silver is out and gold is in.  Oh and her hair is getting really curly.  I just gave her a bath (see item #3 for full reason) and now her hair is all curled up like she's suddenly got more poodle in her than she did before we left for Cali.  Odd.  Guess we'll have to get her a little puppy Chi for Christmas this year.  

3.  I came home today after being out of town for five days to a puppy poop surprise and dead flowers.  I expected the dogs to retaliate, but now my flowers are retaliating too?  Can't a girl go on vacation?  I am afraid the whole house might up and move itself when we go on our honeymoon.  We'll probably come home to a driveway.  That's it.  Just the driveway.  I think I spoil my pets and plants by being home too much.  Such is the life of a homebody.  Perhaps that should be my new blog title.  Nothing welcomes you home like having to wash crusty shit off your dogs ass.  Nothing.  

NOTE: Item number three is not a dig at my house/dog sitters... We love you all!  There's no stopping up Princess' asshole or saving potted flowers in the heat of June.  The baby birds did manage to survive though.  Nice work, team!  

4.  We flew home on Southwest today... That was a new experience entirely (for me).  The obvious reasons are... well... obvious.  We got to stand in the weird line by our number and then we got to pick our own seats.  The last couple of rows of the plane are the free beer, wine, and cocktail section (so the drunks will have further to walk to get off the plane for flight crew's amusement??  What is that about?).  We also had a funny flight crew... Watch for our friendly flight attendant on the next season of Last Comic Standing.  Not really, but he was funny.  This guy was doing the whole spiel about how the seat belt works and how to put on your oxygen mask and not to smoke on the plane yaddy yadda yadda... but with a sarcastic twist. One of the highlights was him explaining that if you smoke on the plane it will cost you $2,000 and if you had $2000 to spend flying from Albuquerque to Dallas you certainly wouldn't be flying on Southwest.  There's nothing like calling a plane full strangers cheap assholes and getting them to laugh about it.  His funny little speech was well rehearsed and certainly not impromptu humor... I actually think the whole thing was made funnier by the other flight attendant who had to hold up the seatbelt and do the stupid hand gestures.  It was painfully obvious she'd heard his schtick at least 9,874 times (and counting) and desperately wished the passengers would stop encouraging him.  Anyway... that was just one of the reasons flying Southwest was a bizarre new world for me today.  

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