SMB Sunday - Slamouflage

SMB and I had a splendid game we played. It's called Slamouflage, and it's awesome. The rules are simple... You spot someone wearing any sort of camouflage, and you either subtly, or not-so-subtly, bump into them and then say to them with a surprised look on your face, "Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't see you there!" ...let it sink in a second. It's hilarious. Seriously. Hilarious. Laugh-out-loud-let-a-little-pee-out funny. Well... at least it was to us, and the other Drunky McDrunks we initiated into our fun.

To be fair, I think the game originated with one of SMB's rather colorful ex-boyfriends. We'll call him PantySnatcher because... well... that's actually what we called him. I bet you can't guess what he stole from her? From what I remember of the origins of Slamouflage, PantySnatcher apparently spent some time in Amsterdam during a particulary camo-heavy clothing trend. To entertain themselves, PantySnatcher and his peeps invented Slamouflage. Or something like that.

SMB and I took it to an entirely new level. You may not think that camo is all the rage these days, but you'd be surprised! Go ahead... you'll notice while you're out and about in the next few days. Anyway we had rules and a point system... the whole nine yards. We'd initiate new members into our game and then ask them to spread the good word.

There are a few particularly memorable Slam-O moments that come to mind...

A different one of SMB's boyfriends was being initiated into Slamouflage while they were at the zoo... up toddles a little toddler wearing a camo hat. The Boyfriend proceeds to sort of hover over the kid and formulate his plan of attack. Meanwhile the kids dad is starting to notice the strange guy staring at his teedering toddler. The Boyfriend goes in for the bump then suddenly can't remember the rules and decides that he probably needs to actually bump into the part of the kid covered in camo... which is his head. What's the logical thing to do here? OBVIOUSLY you'd raise your arm and lower your ELBOW onto the kids head and almost knock the kid over. SMB and the Boyfriend smartly ran far far away from now dumbstruck kid and a very confused and alert father. HILARIOUS.

In the game of Slamouflage you get double points for same-sex slams. The idea is that they're more awkward. We're sitting at the B, our local watering-hole, minding our own business consuming excessive amounts of Miller Lite when in walks a group of about 10 people, one of whom is wearing a flourescent pink camo tank top. OHHHH MANNNN it's FLOURESCENT! SMB dared me to go slam her, and I just couldn't resist. This poor lady was just having dinner with her friends in her tacky bright pink tank top and BLAM out of the middle of nowhere comes ME. In my drunken state it seemed like a GREAT idea to jump up upon being dared (what's a girl gonna do?) and RUN across the B, go up to the lady's table and nudge her from behind and then lean into their table and probably slur..."OH! I'm sooo sorry. I didn't see you there!" Pink Tank Top Lady's response: "Oh! That's OK!" ...I walk away and then hear everyone at the table busting out laughing. They got it. Awesome. Time to go hide in the bathroom now. ;)

SMB and I had quite a few good belly laughs playing Slamouflage in the Dominican Republic.  Mix free drinks 24x7, an over-abundance of Speedo's, and a high instance of non-English speaking, non-American people, and you've got a great Slamo playing field.  

I know we inducted most of the people I know who read this (all 10 three of you) into the Slamouflage game, so tell me your most memorable Slamo moment.  I'll repost them if I can remember enough of the details.  ;) 

It's a good game.  Go forth and Slam.  

That is all, 

SBC

PS - Thanks to Ro for the SMB Sunday suggestion... I welcome suggestions, questions, comments on SMB Sunday Posts (and all other posts for that matter, but SMB Sundays are, by far, the most read thing on this here bloggy bloggerson).