Anyway, I needed to write a quick bit about a conversation I need to have with SMB. She's the only one who I could REALLY have this conversation with... So here goes.
OK... so on SYTYCD they have all of these up close shots of girls doing their splits and what not wearing their little dancy stuff which got me to wondering if they have a team of waxers backstage just take care of all of the stray pubes out there... I know... disturbing. I can't help it. Who knows where these thoughts come from. ANYWAY, tonight I was watching the men's synchronized diving on the olympics and I think these dudes have the same team of people backstage behind those creepy public shower things. These dudes are wearing the teeny tiniest of speedos (banana hammocks, if you will.... and SMB would) and they show these up close slow motion replays of their triple flippy things all tucked up knees spread and they're clean as a whistle.... now onto the conversation I would have with SMB... I imagine it would go something like this:
First, I would summarize all that up there to set the stage for my life altering questions...
SBC: SMB... you know how those dudes in their USA Banana Hammocks have no pubes, right?
SMB: Oh suh-nap! I was sooooo noticing that, yo!
SBC: I knew you would. Looks like SuperNuts will have a competitive market after everyone sees those clean tiny hineys.
SMB: FUCK YES!!!
SBC: So do you think it's a coincidence that the SYTYCD finale was the week before the Olympics started? Like... They probably took all of the back stage pube waxers and shipped them all to China, right?
SMB: Holy big baby Jesus, SBC, I think you're on to something!!!!
SBC: I know, right? So... I've got a plan. Let's get SuperNuts started so we can join the team of Olympic nad/tutu waxers in time for the 2012 London Olympics. I bet that way we'd get a free trip to London if we were on the 2012 Waxing Team.
SMB: Hell yes, you're a genius!
SBC: No... YOU'RE a genius.
SMB: Yeah... I am, but you're pretty fucking brilliant too with all of your thoughts on the olympic waxers. High five?
SBC: High five, indeed.
...Then we'd get drunk and devise a business plan for our SuperNuts nad waxing salon coming to a strip mall near you in order to capitalize on a free Olympic vacay for summer 2012. Actually to be quite honest, SMB would have drawn all of these conclusions much faster than me and would have been calling me to share HER brilliance. Oh well... in my imaginary conversations, I get to have the kick-ass ideas.
Ugh. I miss these conversations. She had a mind that was just one of a kind. Yesterday was 5 months since I found out she was gone, and it still doesn't seem real or right or fair. It's rather fitting that a desire to discuss hair-free private regions on olympic athletes gets me to writing about her after a few weeks off. I miss you my spicy gumdrop.
That is all,
SBC
PS - One of these days I'll explain the genius behind SuperNuts. It's one of our more brilliant drunken ideas. But for now I have to go pack to go to a "strategy" meeting 1,500 miles away. Oh happy day.
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